A Very Short Poem – Analysis and Commentary

A VERY SHORT POEM – ANALYSIS AND COMMENTARY

Short poems must achieve their effect in a few lines. They succeed in a variety of ways—for example, skillfully introducing select motifs meaningful on many levels; calling forth multiple figures of speech in a compressed space; weaving a tight, compelling narrative; or springing a pointed insight at the close, surprising the reader. 

This very short poem—“very short,” we mean 10 lines or less—succeeds by ingeniously invoking the metaphor of piano sheet music in order to flash in the mind’s eye a vivid image of flocking birds.

 

BIRDS ON TRIPLICATE POWER LINES by J. M. Hall

pianist’s furious

nightmare sheet music—how

to play their rearranging

flight, flocking

claustrophobia

against open

pale blue

This poem was originally published in Euphony, Volume XXIV, Number 1 (Winter 2014), page 38.

Additional literary elements contribute to the notable impact of the poem, including trenchant description—“rearranging flight,” “open pale blue”; and multi-level metaphors amplified by evocative diction—“furious nightmare,” “flocking claustrophobia.”

Birds on power lines

The Moon and River and Silence

THE MOON AND RIVER AND SILENCE

                                       

Guided by the moon,

Traveling downriver,

I am enraptured by silence.

All I hear is, delicate, song of my oar

As it dips gently, emerges,

Streamlets, bright notes running down the edge

Of the blade, silver spoon, glistening.

I listen to the moon…

River, warbling bird…

Illumined by silence.

Crickets dare not crack their knuckles.

Originally published in Torrid Literature Journal, Volume XXIV (July 2019), page 14

Moonlit river